14.03

There was a route that healing had taken earlier. It involved listening to James Morrisons 'Broken Strings' on loop, and when the music hits a memory and the body woke up, the lungs gave way to a war cry of the chorus.

I think often about our long winding story, about the time that it took to unfold and about a love that consumed us both. Often I'd tell myself that you were my greatest love, a love that hurt, that never became, that never journeyed further and a love so intense. This love is a story we both told each other, it existed in the vapour because reality was not for escapists. And we escaped to each other because only we both understood each others pain and madness. Only the both of us, each to the other and the other to one.

Yesterday, I after having held back the compulsion to unblock and text you. I was angry.
Angry because you think I'm not worthy enough for a fight. Angry because I see your laziness as undeserving of everything I had put into us.

This is when I step and decide that - self-love is the greatest love of all.

I might be rewriting the story of my greatest love story and this one begins with me.